NAPS
i don't wanna sit still, look pretty.
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indie oc.
penned by FAYE

art credit


viceboss:

roleplayiing-memes:

parks and recreation; starter sentences.

  • “Alcohol is fun and delicious.”
  • “If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party.”
  • “I have no idea what I’m doing but I know I’m doing it really, really well.”
  • “One time I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. I thought it was terrible wine.”
  • “I’m not interested in caring about people.”
  • “At least I didn’t make any new friendships.”
  • “Turns out there wasn’t any pot in the brownie, it was just an insanely good brownie.”
  • “I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things.”
  • “I have to ask this, but how many legs did that dog have when you found him?“
  • “Calzones are pointless. They’re just pizza that’s harder to eat. No one likes them. Good day, sir.
  • “I love games that turn people against each other.”
  • “Treat. Yo. Self.”
  • “If you ever speak to me in Spanish, please use the formal ‘usted’.”
  • “I declare that everything you are saying is stupid.”
  • “My instinct is to be mean to you.”
  • “When people get chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I really don’t care about them.”
  • “The air is too fresh. It’s disgusting.”
  • “I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to.”
  • “Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat, and cats are useless.”
  • “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”
  • “Earlier I was licking icing off my finger and boom, I swallowed my wedding ring.”
  • “There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.”
  • “I love you and I like you.”
  • “I am NOT crying, okay?! I’m allergic to jerks!”
  • “I want to punch you in the face so bad right now.”
  • “I typed up your symptoms on this thing here and it says you may have network connectivity problems.”
  • “On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how pissed off are you?”
  • “I once threw a beer at a swan and then it attacked my niece.”
  • “This is the hardest I’ve ever worked on anything since… Wow - I’ve never worked hard on anything! What a cool life!”
  • “We have to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. But work has to come third.”
  • “Slowing down is not really my jam.”
  • “I love this idea and I love me for thinking of it.”
  • “Take the easy way out. I always do! It’s easy!”
  • “Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness.”
  • “No one achieves anything alone.”